Relationship Story

Why Some Mature People Prefer to Remain Single

Written by Alex Miles

It’s considered normal in our society for everyone to find a long-term relationship eventually. There’s even some negative social stigma against those who never couple up. Singles may be viewed (unfairly) as loners or as those with sad, unfulfilling lives. But if that were true, why do so many mature people continue to choose singlehood actively?

The truth is that there are many benefits to being single. It’s just like there are many benefits to being in a relationship! The only difference is which benefits a person values more. Someone who wants to put themselves and their growth first may vastly prefer to remain unattached. Here are four reasons why mature people prefer to stay single.

1.    Fewer Commitments Mean More Freedom

There’s nothing wrong with being committed to someone. But at specific points in their lives, some mature individuals desire freedom over that sort of responsibility. They recognize that there are many things they want to do that would become more burdensome if commitments are present.

As such, these individuals know the more responsible thing to do is to focus on enjoying that freedom until they’re ready. This freedom can include:

·         Time

In a relationship, you spend lots of time with your partner. Hours upon hours a week are spent texting, hanging out, dating, and doing various things with them. It’s great to devote some of your time to a partner, of course. And you can (and should) carve out me-time just for yourself, even in a long-term and very committed relationship. But mature individuals who want more time to spend will appreciate that being single affords this effortlessly. They’re not constrained by the responsibilities involved with making time for a partner. This allows them to do more things for themselves, their family, friends, and hobbies. Their schedule is entirely their own to dictate.

·         Compromises and Lack Thereof

A relationship only really thrives with regular compromise from those within it. This applies to serious things most of the time, but it also applies to random, casual, and fun events. You have to take turns to decide who picks movies, which can be a bummer if you have different tastes. You need to go rock-paper-scissors on where you go to eat – if you can choose where to eat at all! It would help if you considered your partner’s opinions for many things when you commit to another person. Mature individuals who choose to stay single appreciate that they don’t need to compromise to keep everything peaceful.

·         Travel

It’s possible to travel with a partner, but it can be more complicated. You have double the concerns about taking leave, collecting travel documents, and financial needs during that trip. And while you can travel on your own despite being in a relationship, you’ll miss your partner while you’re gone! Plus, being single allows you to be more spontaneous. When in a relationship, it’s reasonable to include your partner in discussions on plans. As a singleton, you can travel with no hesitation and on a whim.

Do keep in mind that this is not suggesting that committed relationships are constraining or imprisoning. It merely means that at different points in life, other people want different levels of responsibilities!

2.    There’s More Room To Grow

Life is all about learning and growing as you go. Mature people tend to cherish that a lot about building experiences and collecting knowledge. For the sake of their continual improvement, they may decide that remaining single is the best option.

This doesn’t mean that committed relationships stifle growth. But, just like having more freedom as a singleton, you can’t deny that you have more opportunities when you’re unattached. This is something that mature people may find an attractive concept. Here are some areas where there’s more room for growth when you’re single.

·         Growth Between Events

A lot of people experience something called repetition compulsion. This compulsion indicates that individuals tend to rush into situations where they’ll repeat their past mistakes without thinking. Research shows us that it’s widespread with relationships. This is why rebound relationships often have the same toxic patterns as the previous partnership did. Mature people may prefer to remain single to process previous events from a failed relationship properly. They may want to grow, improve, and dig at the roots of past pain before they feel ready to move forward. For some, this may include an understanding that they have a strong preference for remaining single on a long-term basis.

·         Career Focus

Having a relationship while working means you have to juggle your personal and professional life well. It’s perfectly respectable that many individuals like or are satisfied with this balancing act. But it’s also reasonable for mature people to appreciate the opposite more! The ability to dedicate yourself to a career entirely is something that those in long-term relationships can’t always do. A mature individual may want to put their focus solely on their job before seeking a relationship.

·         Resilience

Resilience, or the ability to bounce back from traumatic or adverse events, is a highly positive trait. It’s crucial for surviving the ups and downs of existence, and studies show that singletons have more of it! It makes sense, then, that someone of a mature age may still want to stay uncommitted. It gives them the chance to develop this skill so they can bring their best self forward.

·         Self-Sufficiency

When you’re in a relationship, you get used to having someone always around you or with you. You have someone to rely on constantly, and honestly, that’s a beautiful thing! On the flip side, though, not everyone wants to have that kind of reliance, even if they recognize its merits. There’s a lot of power in being fully self-sufficient. You can learn to be autonomous while in a relationship, but it’s much easier to develop that skill when you’re single. Studies have shown that those who choose to stay single above the age of 40 can develop better self-sufficiency. This attitude affords them improved positive thinking and life satisfaction.

3.    They Are Generally Healthier

Science has shown us time and time again that being married is often correlated with worse health. This outcome is especially true for women, but it applies to any gender. A mature person who wants to be their healthiest self may therefore prefer a single life. Here are some parts of life that are healthier when you’re unattached, backed by research.

·         Physical Activity

Exercise is essential for overall health, and you’re more likely to get it if you’re single. Married individuals get the slightest physical activity overall, and those who have never been married get the most of it. According to research, this also says that divorced people are more active than married ones to boot. This may be because they have more time and energy to exercise. Regardless, mature people may see this as an excellent reason to stay unattached!

·         Healthy Weight

When you’re single, you ironically often put more effort into your appearance and health. You constantly strive to be your best self, and mature individuals can like that about being uncommitted. Studies show that married adults are significantly more likely to have a too-high Body Mass Index or BMI. This extra weight means they have a higher risk of being overweight or obese. An unhealthy weight can contribute to decreased positive thinking, higher disease risk, and other health problems.

·         Stress Management

Anyone can experience stress, whether single or in a relationship. But being single often comes with fewer stressors than a relationship does. You won’t need to worry about a commitment and your responsibility to it. You won’t have to learn to manage conflict with someone unique in such close quarters. And you won’t need to navigate the other person’s stressors, too! It’s easy to see why some mature individuals consider relationships a significant source of stress and prefer to remain single. They may find that they can manage stress in much more positive ways to focus on themselves alone.

·         Financial Health

Being single means only having to pay for yourself. You don’t need to spend money on a partner, suitable houses or vehicles for couples, or potential children. Sure, you can split the money with a partner to pay bills, but you also have more bills to pay. Mature individuals who want to focus on saving money may therefore prefer a single life.

About the author

Alex Miles

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